Tuesday, February 5, 2008

The Gerry McNamara All Stars

A tribute to players that gave 8 years or more of service to college basketball...

Joey Brown- Georgetown: a fixture of my youth, Brown led the Hoyas to 11 NCAA appearances in his 13 seasons in DC, including one magical run with Waldo Faldo from Family Matters.


Scott Padgett- Kentucky: after playing in virtual anonymity for much of the '80s, Rick Pitino put Kentucky back on the map and introduced most of us to Padgett. Playing for 23 seasons for big blue, Padgett is probably best remembered as the only mentally disabled player to ever win an NCAA title.


Steve Wojciechowski- Duke: frustrated with a complete lack of job prospects, at home or abroad, this unathletic scrappy white point guard finally convinced his coach to give him a job. Will work for Dude.

Dante Calabria- UNC: during his nine seasons in Chapel Hill he transformed from a fresh faced youth that Dicky V would froth over to the fat backstreet boy that hogs the ball during the NBA All-Star Celebrities Game.

Saul Smith- Kentucky: Saul spent the better of the ‘90s turning his Dad’s team (whose real name by the way is Orlando?! How did I not know this?) from a dynasty into an unlikable Elite Eight drop-out. Saul had the unique ability to make you even dislike his otherwise underrated teammates.

Mharktian Burgaettnerry- Duke: don’t remember him? Playing under the guise of Mark Alarie beginning in 1983 (the year of our lord) Alarie steadily improved and became a first-team All-ACC player by his senior year. Around the same time Alarie fell head-over-heals in love with a “colleague”. After the season he was faced with the choice of leaving Durham and his puppy love, so he instead opted for a name change and makeover to “Danny Ferry”. At 25 years old Ferry dominated college ball, winning the Naismith in 1989, but four years flew right by and once again he was faced with the grim prospect of leaving his now wife and their growing family. Alarie-Ferry chose once again to spurn the pros and redo his image; this time a little hairdo adjustment was all that it took. Entering his prime at 28 years old Christian Laettner was one of the best college basketball players of all time. He won award after award and took Duke to back-to-back titles. By now the press was onto his story. Questions surfaced about his “relationship” with his coach and his age. To quell the rumors of the first, Alarie-Ferry-Laettner was forced to publicly express affection for another man. To silence the second, Alarie-Ferry-Laettner was forced to finally go pro. But the NBA was tough and he longed for a return to Durham. After the post-“Laettner” luster of Duke had worn off, Alarie-Ferry-Laettner saw an opportunity to once again reenroll. Assuming the identity of devout Mormon Chris Burgess, Alarie-Ferry-Laettner dominated the California high school ranks. He entered Duke a heralded recruit, but soon found his ex-lover playing the field with younger, handsomer players. Nearing 40, his game had diminished significantly. The public fawning by his coach over other men finally drove Alarie-Ferry-Laettner-Burgess to the edge. He left Duke after nearly two decades of service. He’s attempted comebacks, but none have been successful. He was last seen working the (non-curly) fries at Hardee’s.

7 comments:

Thomas Hall said...

Let's not forget Drew Neitzel, who has been at Michigan State since the late 80s at least.

zadecky said...

Wow...what a great post...it's not often I get to read about Dante and Saul within same few lines. God do I hate Saul. His nose is huge...it starts somewhere near his hairline. If he made the NBA, he would've had to have been included on the all-ugly squad.

Josh Centor said...

What about Sergio McClain?

Ryan Smith said...

that Scott Padgett picture is priceless. Who from Maryland makes the list? Former Globetrotter Johnny Rhodes? It seemed like he was there forever, but maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was 137 years old when he enrolled.

voteprime said...

I swear to God, Troy Murphy was at Notre Dame when I was in 2nd grade and finally left when I graduated college in 2001. His bio tells me he only played for 3 years, but that is just not possible. Here was there for at least a decade, but probably actually closer to two.

Jeff Rudnicki said...

Sergio McClain is amazing. Well done. I purposely left out all Terps because I wasn't sure if it was just me that thought Duane Simpkins was there back to the Roosevelt years (the first one).

Anonymous said...

Dallas Comegys played at least 10 years for DePaul - from the late 70s through the mid 80s.