Why don't he write? An abbreviated NFL Draft Preview

Christmas, the 4^th of July, and Opening Day are all here! This year’s NFL draft post will be a lazy rendition of past versions but, this just in, blogs are a time suck. So without further disclaimer for mediocrity, below is a homeless version of Peter King’s things I think I think...

I think, fairly or unfairly, I'm fairly certain Nick Fairley would be my first pick and a fairly good player. Cam Newton was the quarterback of the National Champion, but Nick Fairley carried that team.

Seems Fairley obvious to me

I think Patrick Peterson is the safest pick, but I think no GM has the balls to take a corner #1 even if Darrelle Revis is the best defensive player in football.

I think Marcell Dareus was named after a store brand battery, and will be renting a campsite from Big Daddy Warren in three years.

Better start eating, kid

I think AJ Green is A LOT better than Julio Jones. A LOT.

I think I’m bored with the lockout already. I wish Johnnie Cochran was still with us.

I think Jake Locker will be the best quarterback in this class, though I’m not sure that’s saying much.

I think it’s an extremely weak top of draft if two players from the University of Missouri go in the top 11 picks.

I think Mike Pouncey should give half his signing bonus to his brother.

I think I forgot to put out the trash this morning.

I think Muhammad Wilkerson, the defensive lineman from Temple, is someone I have to like.

I think Blaine Gabbert will be one of the best quarterbacks in Argonauts history.

Rocket Ismail likes this

I think it’s been too long since I’ve had a slurpee.

I think Da'Quan Bowers, the pride of Bamberg (after my father-in-law), is a top 5 player that goes in the 20s.

I think Todd McShay was better in Wedding Crashers than he was in The Hangover.

I think Mark Ingram to the Pats hurts my dynasty fantasy team.

I think Deion Sanders should be the Charles Barkley of NFL telecasts.

I think NFL “draft experts” need to grow some balls. If Cam Newton is not worthy of the top pick do not make him your #6 overall prospect. If Nick Fairley has fallen because he only played one season of D-1 don’t make him your top player before “realizing” he played just one year. If Blaine Gabbert is not listed in your first round do not give him a top 10 ranking the day he declares because it is a weak QB class.

I think the Lions will fall into another great pick. I’d guess Prince Amukamara.

I think Phil Taylor from Baylor rhymes. I also think Phil Taylor has all-ugly hall of fame potential.

I think it’s funny that Brooks Reed from Arizona will go late in the first or early in the second because he reminds people of Clay Matthews but Casey Matthews, Clay’s brother, will go in round four or five.

I think Ryan Williams is going to be a fantasy monster.

I think no one is talking about the rookie wage scale. Doesn't your calculus change if Cam Newton costs $30M instead of $80M?

I think Ras-I Dowling is the only draft pick whose autographed picture is on my mantle. I think at worst he’s the best Ras-I not in the Blind Boys of Alabama (probably).

I think Brandon Harris from Miami makes up part of the best cornerback class I can remember.

I think to save time the NFL should start printing “Mallett” Raiders’ jerseys now.

I think Jonathan Baldwin is either good Antonio Bryant or bad Antonio Bryant.

I know I wish Ted Leonsis owned the Redskins.