Sunday, August 30, 2009

Q and A

Throughout history, our singers and songwriters have asked countless questions through their works. I am here to answer those asinine questions...

(Who Wrote) The Book of Love
The Monotones

While I'm not sure it can be considered the definitive work on the subject, the Book of Love was written by William Kotzwinkle.
Hey, Hey What Can I Do?
Led Zeppelin

You've got a woman who refuses to be true, who is perpetually under the influence of alcohol, and who seemingly receives solicitations at church services. If I interpret your tale correctly, you, sir, are in love with a prostitute, and a pretty prolific one at that. The first thing you can and should do is get tested. After that, I would suggest you try to get your life back on track. Resist the urges to "keep a-searchin' all around / Lookin' for your street corner girl." Maybe you can meet someone nice at church? You know, someone who doesn't sell their body on street corners?

No... I'm asking you, isn't she?
Isn't She Lovely?
Stevie Wonder

She's alright, I guess. But how would you know?

Where have all the Cowboys gone
Paula Cole

If you mean these Cowboys, Aikman calls games with Joe Buck, Emmitt was on Monday Night Countdown, and Irvin is currently Dancing with the Stars (not to be confused with dancing on the star).

If you mean these Cowboys, Heath Ledger died of a drug overdose and Jake Gyllenhaal is starring in an upcoming, sure-to-be-terrible movie adaptation of The Prince of Persia video games and dating a very attractive woman.

If you mean these Cowboys, they eventually fell victim to the Earp Vendetta Ride, aka "The Last Charge of Wyatt Earp and his Immortals".

Greatest... Western... Ever...

Otherwise, the archetypal American "cowboy" died out when the advent of barbed wire made open range ranching a thing of the past, thus eliminating the need for long cattle drives.

Why Can't We Be Friends?
War/The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones/Smash Mouth

It probably has something to do with you being responsible for the song "Low Rider"/ that "knock on wood" song/the song "All Star"

Can You See Me?
The Jimi Hendrix Experience

Oh yes, Jimi, I can see you. I can even listen to you. But I can't hear you. Sidney Deane made that abundantly clear.

"Look man, you can listen to Jimi but you can't hear him. There's a difference man. Just because you're listening to him doesn't mean you're hearing him."